KEEP ON KEEPING ON

     It was two years ago tomorrow when my doctor said that word.  The numbers printed on the lab results meant absolutely nothing to me.  There had to be another explanation than the "C" word.  My oncologist said the dreaded word and sent me immediately to the scheduling desk.  My day planner was filled for the next three weeks with appointments and events that thoroughly terrified me.  If you know anything about me, you are aware that am a card-carrying needle-phobic.  I don't mean just the kind that gets nervous at injection time.  I am talking complete loss of consciousness.  My Mom could tell you about the time when teenaged Kathy reported to the hospital lab for pre-op testing prior to a tonsillectomy.  Apparently I went into the lab by foot and came out of the lab by wheelchair.  I don't remember much in between, but I do remember asking Mom, "why am I in a wheel chair?"  As an adult, I always warned my nurses and lab techs that I needed to lay down to have blood drawn.  I told them that I was a frequent fainter, just wake me up when it is over.  My husband takes great delight in sharing the story of taking me to the doctor with a really bad sinus infection and picking me up off the exam room floor because of a penicillin shot.  I tell you that so that you can understand the horror that February, 2013 held for me.  CT scan (with dye,) Bone Marrow Biopsy (you can't even call that needle a needle - - - it is more like a drill!), more blood work, and MRI (with dye of course.) 
     Two years later, I have had countless blood tests, 18 chemo injections in the tummy, and nine chemo infusions.  God has blessed me with answered prayer regarding my needle-phobia.  Shortly after diagnosis we had a talk, God and me.  I told him of my fears and asked him to take away my fear of needles. This burden was immediately lifted from me.  Now, I do have to admit, I did not ask God to help me enjoy needles...... no, not at all.  I still hate them.  But every time one comes near me, I just say, "this is going to help save my life" and God gets me through it.
     So, two years after diagnosis, I feel that I should be wiser, I feel that I should understand why I am living with a cancer that only effects 6 in a million people.  I feel that by now I should have put all of this into perspective.  Nope!  Not at all.  Cancer is confusing, cruel, and all-consuming.  Physically, I have good days and "cancer days."  On "cancer days" I feel exhausted from the deepest part of myself.  It is not a normal tiredness.  It is as if every part of my body is rebelling.  Other physical symptoms are beginning to show themselves, but I am learning to deal with that.  For me, the most difficult part of this journey has been and continues to be the emotional reaction to the diagnosis, the treatment, the knowledge that my cancer is "not yet curable," and the uncertainty of when my next treatment regimen will begin.  I am still processing the fact that I have a chronic illness that is unlikely to be cured in my lifetime.  But, at the same time, I feel unbelievably blessed.
     I am not alone.  My family, friends, medical peeps - I am so grateful for each one.  But, I have to tell you, the past 24 months have brought about a closer relationship with my best friend, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I always knew He was there, I just didn't always feel the need to call on Him.  The "C" word has brought me to a new dependence on him, and for that, I am forever grateful.
     Tomorrow begins year three of my cancer journey.  Unless God chooses to heal me miraculously, He will walk beside me through the fatigue, the aches and pains, the confusion, and even the encounters with needles.  He provides the great minds who create life-saving drugs, He provides the medical professionals who prescribe and administer them - for now, this is my healing.  Oh, my body will be completely healed of cancer one day.  If not in this lifetime, in the next.  Until then....

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.

Keep on seeking, and you will find.

Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you."

Matthew 7: 7 (New Living Translation) 

Do not be afraid or terrified,

for the Lord your God goes with you;

he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Dueteronomy 31: 6

    
    
    
 

SCOREBOARD

     "One day at a time."  That's the advice I get most.  I really try my best to do that.  I wake up in the morning and say, "I feel great.  No chemo today." 
     We checked the crazy blood scoreboard and the final numbers are in.  This game does NOT play by the rules.  It doesn't seem to have any rules.  Anemia - in check!  Blood thickness - in check!  But those darn proteins - the ones that my malignant plasma cells produce.  Those numbers are increasing every time we check.  That indicates that the malignant cells are multiplying.  Just like before.  Just like before chemo.  Almost to the same level as when I was first diagnosed. 
     I just don't quite have a handle on this rare, indolent cancer, yet.  Originally I was told that I could go for years without treatment (well, it took only six months for my first treatment regimen.)  I keep thinking I will be one of those WMers who are blessed with lazy malignant cells.  Well, apparently, mine are moving right along.
     Knowing that those little bad guys are inside my bone marrow - doing their bad stuff and there's not a thing I can do to stop it really gets to me sometime.  Just watch and wait.  Last year it was watch followed by a very short wait.  My mind just won't let that go sometimes.  When am I going to have to clear out my calendar for treatment again?  Not today.  "I feel great.  No chemo today."
     "Eat more green vegetables."  "Lower your body's PH level."  "Try essential oils."  "Think positive thoughts." "Stop drinking diet coke!"  OK, OK, OK!  Thank you for the advice, but really?
     "Have faith."   I DO have faith!  I have complete faith that God will never leave me or forsake me.  I have complete faith that he could HEAL me if that was His plan for me.  So far, it does not look as if that is His plan.  So, I have faith that He will be with me every step of the way with this crazy blood journey. 
     "Be brave."  "Be an example to others."  Sometimes I just don't feel brave.  Sometimes I feel like a lousy example.  Sometimes I tell my husband, "I don't like this.  I don't want to have cancer any more."  Can't I just shout to the top of my lungs "CANCER SUCKS!"
     Then I see the photo of my friend, Susan, come up on my facebook newsfeed.  Approaching the end of a long battle with cancer that has spread throughout her body.  There she was in the photo.  Smiling.  On her birthday.  Probably her last birthday on earth.  Yes, Susan, Cancer sucks.  You are so brave.  I am a whiner. 

     Forgive me, Lord.  Help me to trust in your plan for my life. 

Comfort me with the realization that you will be with me

wherever my path takes me. 

 And, those little malignant cells - could you just shut them down? 

That would be really awesome!  As for tonight, I feel great.  No chemo tomorrow!

One day at a time.

"Don 't worry about anything;

instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need,

and thank him for all he has done."

Philippians 4: 6-7 NLT

A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO ME

"     What do you say about the first anniversary of one of the scariest and most miserable days of your life?  At this time last year, I had received my first of 18 injections of Velcade.  (They told me it would be a quick and simple injection.  They failed to tell me that it would be administered in my TUMMY!)  A week later, it was time for the first of nine Rituxan infusions.  I had been given all the warnings about side effects.  I just KNEW that the possibilities were for someone else - not me. 
     Silly me!  October 11, 2013.  Lab work done, Stevie at my side, and plenty to keep me occupied during the infusion, I was ready to begin the process of beating down the cancer in my bone marrow.  It was causing me some problems and things were about to get serious.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  The I.V. was inserted (a huge victory for this needle-phobic who ironically had blood cancer!)  I had given my explanation of Waldenstrom's macroglobulinemia to the oncology nurses, taught them how to spell it, pronounce it, and found that only one had ever treated a WM patient before today.  Lovely!  A scared needle-phobic with a disease that nobody has ever even heard of before!  Downhill from here.  Right?  Oh boy!  Was I wrong.  The nurse loaded me up with Tylenol to ward off the fever and chills, and steroids - Benadryl to prevent allergic reactions, but my body did not like Rituxan, not one bit!
     It was a very, very long and miserable day.  Because of the allergic reactions, and the starts and stops, only 1/2 of the drug was given during my 8 hour infusion.  I was loaded with so much Benadryl and steriods that I was totally wired!  No rest for me.  I watched every single drip through the tube into my arm.  My doctor and nurse stayed with me after hours to try to give me as much Rituxan as possible.  Finally, my doctor said that it was time to end the infusion - my body just couldn't take any more.  I was devastated to learn that an additional infusion would be added at the end of my treatment regimen to give me the correct amount of Rituxan.  So, late in the evening, after the infusion center had actually closed, Steve and went home with a new understanding of what the next six months would hold. 
     But that was then.  This is now.  Rituxan and Velcade did the trick.  I feel great!  (It's a funny thing, sometimes you don't even know that you are sick until you get better.)  No more anemia.  IgM protein in check.  WM and I are living together under "friendly" conditions.  (That's what my oncologist says, isn't that wierd?)  Next lab work will happen in three weeks.  We'll check the scoreboard then and make sure that my indolent cancer is still sleeping.  Until then, I am enjoying my "cancer vacation."  Three months at a time with no oncology visits (and no needles!)
     Today, I thank God for Rituxan, and the love-hate relationship that we have.  I am thankful that God equips some of his children to think scientifically and to understand the hidden secrets of the human body.  I honor the cancer fighters before me who participated in clinical trials to help researchers find appropriate drugs that are now available to help me.  WM, like so many other cancers, is not-yet-curable.  More research is needed.  WM is an orphan disease which means that little research funds are available.  WM has characteristics of both Multiple Myeloma (plasma cancer) and Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (cancer of the lymph system.)  I classify myself under the Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma umbrella because there are not categories for a "lymphoplasmacytic" lymphoma like mine.   Today, I am proud and grateful that my friends and family have helped me raise nearly $3,500 for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  Some of the research that this money will fund will be used to develop treatments that will help me with my crazy blood disease. 
     On my very-merry unbirthday, the anniversary of my first Rituxan infusion, I would be most honored if you would give to this worthy cause.  No other gift would mean as much to me. 


A click of the "Team Lollar" logo above this post will take you to the "Light The Night Walk" website and you can quickly donate to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. That would be the best very-merry unbirthday present ever!  Here's to research!  Here's to cures!

"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God

in Christ Jesus concerning you."

1 Thessalonians 5: 18

DOING THE BEST WE CAN

        I have come to the conclusion that very little in my life has gone the way I planned.  When Steve and I married over 38 years ago, a large family never crossed our minds.  We were excited about the birth of our first baby.  Although unplanned, little April Kathleen was the joy of our young lives and continues to be to this day.  But she did not remain an only child for long.  Just when April started sleeping through the night, I realized something was wrong.  What I suspected could not possibly be!  I was too tired.  I hadn't slept in months.  I was not ready to be a mom again!  But, God had other plans.   When April was only 15 months old, Natalie Brooke found her place into our hearts, and our tiny toddler became a big sister.  God gave us two precious daughters.  I have loved them both - from the first butterfly flutter in my belly, through childhood, the terrible teens.  Steve and I are blessed that April and Natalie remain near and dear to us.  They are parts of us - from now through eternity.
        As I said, a large family never crossed our minds.  I will re-state my earlier observation.  Very little in my life has gone the way I planned.  Throughout the past 17 years, our family has grown one by one by one.  And sometimes even by twos.  As of today, the group pictured above is the real TeamLollar.  Our family.  Our village.  The Steve and Kathy Lollar family does not look like anything we expected.  Our beautiful daughters have delighted us with the births of five beautiful grandchildren, Cameron Gregory, Aubreigh Dawn, Joel Steven, Brennon Reid, and Kielyn Rae. 
     But, there's more!  Like most daughters, our girls have chosen partners for their life journeys.  Throughout the years, circumstances have changed which have brought a crew of children into our lives.  Yours, mine, and ours children.  Children who have been a part of our physical families for a time, and have now moved on, but have never moved out of our hearts.  Once a Lollar grand, always a Lollar grand.  April and Tony have given us two more little loves, Madison and Trenton.  Natalie and Pete introduced us to Jordan just this weekend.  Then there are Brittany, Michael Marie and Trestin, children who will never leave our hearts.
     I tell you all of that background information to make this point.  Nothing in my life has been what I planned.  The older I get, the more I realize that I have very little say in what happens in my own life.  Lately, I have come to terms with that reality.  I have even learned to embrace my helplessness and become bold with faith that God will bring me through anything that is ahead of me.  My unexpected large family has brought many trials, but the blessings have outweighed them ten-fold.  I planned to be a pop-star diva of the Barbra Streisand genre.  Instead, my gift was found in teaching children - thousands of them - and their children.  Sharing music with so many has brought me untold happiness.   I never thought twice about my health and assumed I would always wear size 6 jeans and eat all I wanted.  That all changed!  I never spoke the "C" word aloud.  I never wanted to say it because it did not belong to me, it belonged to somebody else.  I have learned that you can ignore and deny all you want to, but with health issues, you'd better know your body and respect it enough to find answers. 
       For nearly two years (I can't believe how quickly the time has passed) I have been aware that the "C" word is a part of me.  Who knows how long I had it before diagnosis.  During this time, I have lost 4 friends to cancer (one just last week,) and at least ten others have been diagnosed.  You understand that, don't you?  I'll bet the same is happening in your circle of friends and family.  An unplanned, unwanted, dreaded disease.  I am one of the blessed ones.  I have responded well to treatment and am doing very well.  I never, ever take that for granted.  I think of Kevin, Tim, Lynn, and Shayne.  Gone too soon.  I think of Pam, Billie, Sarah, Susan, Beth, Loretta, Bonnie, and so many others.  Too many to name.  I am blessed.  I am grateful. 
     I have come to the conclusion that very little in my life has gone the way I planned.  My small family has turned into a beautiful blend of God's precious children.  My time in the spotlight has been spent displaying the unique talents of my students and encouraging them to blossom.  My time of illness has taught me to appreciate life, to trust God, to ask for help, and to just let things go.  Things that seemed so important before fade into the background.  It's people who are important, not things.  Why do we all say, "where did the time go?" "I just blinked and my child was grown!" "My body is old, but my mind is young, how did the past 57 years fly by so fast?"  Slow down.  Love people.  Look over their mistakes.  Forgive their faults.  Forgive yourself.  Be an encourager.  Be a listener.  Be a giver.  Accept people as they are.  After all, very little in their lives have gone the way they planned.  We are all just doing the best we can. 

"But from everlasting to everlasting, the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children."

Psalm 103:17

"Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

Proverbs 22: 6

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

1 Corinthians 1: 25

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29: 11



  
    

THIS IS HOW WE ROLL

     My sweet husband is in surgery and it is my turn to wait. It feels quite different on this side of the operating room. I can't say that I like it. Being a caregiver is going to be a change for me. I have grown very dependent upon Steve over the past 18 months. From foot surgery through chemotherapy and hip surgery, he has been there cheering me on every slow and painful step along the way. The tables have turned. In a couple of hours, I will be the home nurse, the chauffeur, the physical therapy assistant and all the rest. This man has never had surgery until today. He is rarely even sick. He has been blessed with good health. Total dependence will be new for him. Everyone warns me that men are not good patients. We'll see, but I believe that this man will prove them wrong.  

     A few minutes ago, the surgical team rolled Steve down the hall toward the operating room. I grinned as I heard him sing, "Rollin,' Rollin', Rollin'".  One of the nurses asked, "Are you surprised that he is singing the Gunsmoke theme on the way to surgery?"  I answered, "Not at all.  I know him. This is how we roll."  

     Thank you, God, for giving me a healthy husband with a servant's heart. Thank you for his humor and his positive attitude.  I ask you to bless him right now throughout this procedure. I pray that Steve will heal quickly with minimal pain. Teach me to be the kind of caregiver he needs.  I look forward to the day he can walk without difficulty.  Thank you for loving us.  Thank you for being true to your promises. I claim your promise that you will never leave us or forsake us.  I invite you to walk with us through these days of recovery. 

When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; and if you stumble, you will not fall.  

Proverbs 4: 12

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY - HIP, HIP, HOORAY!

     It happened nine weeks ago.  Lying in pain on the kitchen floor I thought to myself, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!  THIS CAN'T HAVE JUST HAPPENED!  HAVEN'T I BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?"  That evening, lying in a hospital bed, I asked my surgeon just how long my recovery from the inevitable hip surgery would take.  His answer was ten weeks.  That was not the answer I wanted, but that was the answer I got.  My mind started calculating just what that number meant to me.   I set a goal for myself.  The goal for recovery would be my birthday!  (OK, it was only nine weeks until my next birthday, but surely I could beat the odds.) 
    I must say that my 57th year has been the most painful and difficult of my entire life.   On March 7, I completed six months of chemotherapy; but my celebration was delayed by a fall on March 8 that left me with a titanium rod to strengthen my broken hip.  Hours of physical therapy have improved my weakened muscles, but complete strength is still down the road a bit.  It has been a long, hard journey to this point, but guess what?  This birthday weekend has been the best of my life!  I have never been more grateful to walk, more happy to bend down and plant flowers, more aware of my increased energy level, and more amazed to have improved blood flowing through my veins than today.  The reality of my own mortality has changed me.  A time of helplessness and dependence has made me a different person.  Things that used to be important to me, are no longer of value.  Other things that I hardly noticed before, have now become priorities. 
     You have probably heard the saying, "what does not kill you will make you stronger."  I wish that were not a true statement, but I testify that it is.  If I had my way, God would just give me all the understanding and insight that I would ever need.  He would just wave his omipotent hand, and I would be fully mature and provided with all knowlege.  But, I guess that's why HE is God and I am not!  That's just now how growing in his glory works. 
    Don't get me wrong, I wish that I never had to face another moment of suffering in my life.  But of course, I am not naive.  Cancer will  continue.  Financial difficulties will continue.  Family concerns will continue.  Violence and evil in the world will continue and will have an effect on my life.  But, I know this for sure:  through suffering, I will change; I will grow; I will grow nearer to God.  I will have complete assurance that the God who created me will never leave me or forsake me.  I will look back on future trials and find that God has worked them out for my good. 
     Steve and I have a short reprieve and then we face another surgery.  This time, I will be the caregiver.  Foot surgery will require four weeks in a cast followed by two weeks in a boot for a man who has rarely been sick a day in his life (gratefully.)  So, we are getting ready for the next part of the journey.  We don't want to do it, but we know that it is necessary.  I pray that Steve will experience some of the same touches of the Holy Spirit and the strength of Jesus Christ during his recovery as I have during mine. 
     Our next goal is Steve's birthday.  On his birthday, he should be out of the cast and into a walking boot.  That will be a good day.  We are also looking forward to October 25, when we will walk with TeamLollar in Austin, Texas at the Light The Night Walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  We will walk for research and help for blood cancer patients.  But we will also just be grateful that we can walk!  If you'd like to walk with TeamLollar or help us reach our fundraising goal, you can reach our team page by using this link:

LINK TO TEAMLOLLAR PAGE - LIGHT THE NIGHT WALK

Hip, Hip, Hooray!

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trials you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

1 Peter 4: 12-13

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know thate the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1: 2-4

"A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward.  Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it.  Ponder it.  And most of all, use it.  Use it to the glory of God."

Max Lucado

"The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust - not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering.  Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God."

Brennan Manning



RECOVERY, 2014

     Four weeks ago today, I traded in my boxing gloves for combat boots!  (Thank you, Loretta Walker, for those appropriate words.) 


     2013 was a difficult year for the Lollar family.  We welcomed 2014 with the hopes of a better year.  We are still waiting for that to happen,  but we believe that better days are just around the corner. 


     On Friday, March 7, I completed my six month chemotherapy regimen.  But the long anticipated reprieve did not happen.  On Saturday, March 8, I fell and broke my hip.  WHO DOES THAT?  Over and over in my mind, I have questioned this.  No way!  How could this possibly be right?  I still don't have the answer to that one, but I have made a few observations and have gleaned some snippets of wisdom along the way.  I will share a few thoughts with you. 

• CLOSE THE DISHWASHER DOOR!  (It just might be a warning from the Holy Spirit.)  Have you ever just had a hunch?  In your gut?  And you didn't know why?  I can remember several times that this has happened to me throughout my lifetime.  There was the time, over 25 years ago, that I walked up to my home to find the door knocked in.  As I angrily stepped toward the threshold to view the damage from an apparent burglary, my feet stopped as if I had walked into a concrete wall.  I turned and ran, got into my car, and went to a friend's house.  When we returned with the police, my microwave was sitting on the ground just inches from where I had stood.  I have carried that moment with me for most of my adult life, wondering what could have caused that feeling to come over me.  Now I know............ it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit, one of the ways that God communicates with His children.  I am so glad that I heeded the warning then, but why didn't I learn my lesson?  I don't know how many times, I have left that dishwasher door open.  I don't know how many times I have thought to myself, "That is really dangerous.  Someone could trip and hurt themselves."  I had warning after warning, feeling after feeling, and I DID NOT HEED THE WARNING.  It was nobody's fault but my own.  I have learned a really hard lesson.  I pray that I have learned it well and that I will be aware of future promptings of the Spirit within me. 

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,

He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you."

John 14: 26

"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,

'This is the way, walk in it,'

whenever you turn to the right hand

or whenever you turn to the left."

Isaiah 30: 21

• DON'T GO INTO DEEP WATER WITHOUT A BUDDY.  I cannot imagine what I would have done if I had been alone that Saturday morning.  My sweet Stevie heard my blood curdling screams and came to my rescue.  Then came my family.  Then, the doctors and nurses and surgeons and physical therapists and x-ray technicians and lab technicians, and so on and so on.  Then came the friends.  One after another.  Bringing flowers, food, cards, words of encouragement, words of healing and strength. Prayer warriors lifting me up in prayer.  I felt the power and comfort.  Phone calls and text messages from little piano students checking on "Ms. Kathy."   I am a giver, a doer, an organizer, a fixer.  Being in need was a new experience for me.  Fortunately, I had gone through 56 years of life without learning about complete helplessness.  I now know that when you are in need, you need an army of supporters.  I don't believe that God ever intended for us to go through life alone.  It's just too hard!  We need each other.  I am especially humbled by the complete selflessness that my husband has demonstrated during this month.  He has been my rock of strength through the most trying time of my life.  He tells me that if the table was turned, I would do the same for him.  Well, of course I would, but I hope I never have to.  HUMILITY.  PATIENCE.  TRUST.  I now understand these concepts in a deeper way. 

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Galatians 6: 2

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you,

do also to them,

for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Matthew 7:12

• "THEY ARE WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG."  You know the song..... "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."  Even the youngest of us knows it.  But do we REALLY believe it?  I am believing these words more and more each day.  Perhaps that is the lesson God wants me to learn through this experience.  Here is what I know for sure.  I experienced a terrifying fall.  I lay on the floor in shock and in pain.  The first sounds I uttered were a call for help from Steve.  The next words I spoke were, "I trust you, Lord.  I trust you.  Help me."   In the emergency room, surgery, recovery, the Holy Spirit brought me constant companionship and comfort.  The day after surgery, a physical therapist expected me to walk!  Really?  Walk?  I was so frightened.  I prayed, "Give me the strength of Jesus."  I was able to take two steps.  The next day, the same prayer.  I walked out the hospital room door and a few steps into the hallway.  Day after day.  Prayer after prayer.  Step after step.   I have been blessed with strength and healing - not just for my body, but for my spirit.  I am convinced of the truth of these words from scripture:

"Be strong and courageous.

Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,

for the Lord your God goes with you;

he will never leave you nor forsake you."

"Deuteronomy 31: 6





""When the righteous cry for help,

the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles."

Psalm 34: 17

     Now, I put away the combat boots and trade them in for a nice pair of Nike's.   The next four to six weeks will be full of physical therapy.  I am learning to appreciate exercise.  Perhaps even sweat!  The boxing gloves have to stay nearby, because cancer is still a reality for me.  Now that chemotherapy has ended, the next few months will be spent tracking numbers in the blood tests and even a scary bone marrow biopsy.  My prayer is that my condition will respond so well to the recent treatment that the malignancy remains in check for a long, long time.  I look forward to better days ahead, and I have the trust that my God will hold me with his righteous right hand through the good and the bad. 

"So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41: 10

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!  I have overcome the world."

John 16: 33