A NEW GAME PLAN!
Lately, many of my friends have commented on my "positive attitude" in the face of incurable cancer. Please don't ask my sweet husband about my "positive attitude." I cry. I scream. I say the "f" word (don't tell anybody.) I stay in bed for hours at a time because I don't have the energy to get up. I leave the housework and transporting grandkids to him while I sleep. Morning, afternoon, evening, whenever my body gives out.
But through all of that, when I come to my senses, I do my very best to find the positive in this journey because it is the best healing plan for myself. I do my very best to stay positive, because my grandchildren deserve a happy, fun grandmother. I try to stay positive, because my music students have their own lives and they don't need to be worried about their sick old music teacher.
I absolutely find peace and comfort because the mighty God of Abraham sends his Holy Spirit to fill me when I humble myself and ask. In moments of no energy, I experience miraculous revitalization - just in time to get me through eight hours of continuous music lessons. After moments of crying and feeling sorry for myself, compassion comes over me, and I listen to another cancer survivor's story and offer them hope - suddenly, I am also filled with hope. And when my cancer survivor friends (and there are many) begin to run out of treatment options, I have absolutely no right to have a bad attitude. My treatment options have only begun.
A NEW GAME PLAN!
When you are thankful, a positive attitude comes easily. I believe that God can heal me miraculously, in the blinking of an eye - if HE wants to do that. But, I believe that God can teach this slow learner more by holding me by the right hand through the journey. Upon diagnosis, three years ago, I vowed to keep my journey public. Because maybe the words that I have to say about my experiences with chronic illness will help someone else. Don't praise me for having such a good attitude in the face of adversity. It is not from my strength, but that of the Holy Spirit living in me.
A NEW GAME PLAN!
Why am I so excited to have been declared "sick enough?" Watch-and-wait is hard! Those evil cells are living in every inch of my bone marrow and flowing through my blood stream through every organ, every muscle and even to my brain. That's my reality, friends. Watch-and-wait is excruciating! Keeping score every month. When is the cancer going to beat me down enough that I can fight back? NOW! I have had a miserable autumn, 2015. Because of God's help and a new drug called Ibrutinib, 2016 will be a healthy year. We are fighting back - with a positive attitude - with a new drug - and with Jesus Christ beside me. What's not to be happy about?
"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free;
for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me."
song lyrics by Civilla D Martin - 1905
"A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Proverbs 17: 22
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