Sleep is not coming easy tonight. My mind is wandering. I have read the treatment options for Waldenstrom's patients and I can't stop wondering where I will fit in. I will meet my oncologist at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center tomorrow for a treatment plan. I can't stop thinking about the fact that twelve hours from now, my life could take a drastic turn. Chemotherapy, the treatment I have feared all my life, could be around the corner for me. But, maybe I am fortunate enough to be classified as a candidate for the "watchful waiting" period. Oh, the delay of treatment for a while would be such a welcomed relief. A song recorded by Christian artist, Larnelle Harris, has come to mind tonight. It is playing over and over in mind.
"It's not in TRYING, but in TRUSTING;
Not in RUNNING, but in RESTING;
It's not in WONDERING, but in PRAYING
that we find the strength of The Lord."
I love the words that God spoke to Moses when he doubted his ability to lead the Israelites into the promised land. Exodus 14:14 records God's promise to Moses:
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Lord, I am trying to be still. I am trying to rest. I am asking for your spirit of peace tonight.
I am trusting you to fight for me. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46
You are an extremely important person to myself, as well as my family. Thank you for being such an amazing woman -- we are praying.
ReplyDeleteYour faith is strong and God hears your prayers. Know that he is with you with whatever they say tomorrow. At least then there will be a plan and you can figure out your strategy to beat this !! Hugs and prayers Kathy !!"D'Neal" Danielle Travis
ReplyDelete