IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

One morning each month, I awaken with the knowledge that everything that I hold dear will be put on hold for a time.  My family, my students, my business, my errands, my home chores, everything must all be pushed aside.  For this moment of my life, nothing takes precedence over my medical appointment.  My fight against cancer is the priority of the day.  It's that time of the month.

Today is LAB DAY - the day of the month that I walk in the doors of the big medical facility that has the "C" word plastered in huge letters right across the front.  The sign on the building is a visual reminder of the enemy,  the uninvited intruder in my life.  The kind folks who work at the West Texas Cancer Center will take good care of me.  They will come up with an interesting topic of conversation to get my mind off of the needle piercing my vein, but there is just nothing about this monthly routine that is normal or pleasant.

From the moment I wake up on LAB DAY, I am reminded that malignant plasma cells are multiplying in my bone marrow and traveling my entire body through my veins.  That fluid that is created to give me life is being invaded by microscopic cells that have the power to take my life.  My body is fighting an invisible enemy and I am powerless to help.  Just believing that I have blood cancer is still difficult for me.  Thankfully, I cannot feel or see the effects of this diseases.  Numbers on a lab report - they are the only proof that I have a problem.

Today, a large quantity of my precious blood will be required for the monthly score-keeping.  How many red blood cells have managed to remain strong this month?  How much of that nasty IgM protein have the malignant cells produced?  How thick is my blood?  It is creeping up to a consistency that can be dangerous for me.  Are we there yet?  Is it time for treatment yet?  Who wins this round......... Kathy or cancer?

I just feel like whining for a moment.  I sure hate this!  Blood cancer has brought concern and financial hardships to my family.  Some days the uncertainty just makes me an emotional wreck!  For periods of time, I am simply out of commission.  I have to give myself a "time out" and that is never in my daily planner.

Then I look at my fellow cancer fighters and I feel guilty.  I have friends who are facing cancer surgery, infusions of chemotherapy, and weeks of radiation treatment..... just to survive.  And here I am waiting.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.

OK, the whining moment is over.  I am thankful that my condition is still in the "Watch and Wait" mode.  I am thankful that God has chosen to bless me with energy in the midst of anemia.  I am thankful for health care professionals who devote their lives to helping cancer patients like me.  I am grateful for a medical facility within a few miles of my home.  I am devoted to living my cancer journey out loud because I fully believe that someone who reads my simple words will be helped along their journey.

So, I should close now.  It's that time of the month and I have to get ready to go to the cancer center.  It's time to check the scoreboard.  Whatever the numbers say, God is in control, and as His child, I win!

"We also glory in our sufferings,

because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

perseverance, character;

and character, hope."

Romans 5: 3-4

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:13